I'm the last in a family of 5. Nay! 8! I had a lovely childhood. The type of family one would term "ajebutter" (denoting comfort) in Nigeria. My father was a School Administrator and my mother a teacher and later Headmistress. My father was at some point a journalist/broadcaster – speaking TIV language on the radio during the civil war and was also on and off politics... He told me stories of how he contested and won the NPN party nomination (primaries) for the chairmanship elections of Nsukka Local Government, but couldn't take up realize his dreams due to military incursion. He had held many offices in the PDP before he became a traditional ruler... (Igwe in Igbo). My dad is 75 and counting. My mum who later went into small-scale business on retirement is 10 years younger than my dad. My parents are disciplinarians and homemakers.
I read a lot of novels as a child. My mum always brought them from the school library or bought them. And so, in primary school, I was writing letters to my siblings in school and to my brother in Lagos. This early habit of mine has continued to shape and reshape my worldview. Perhaps accounting for my interest in writing and keeping track of my growing up. My father loves to read! He can pass for a carnivorous reader! Sometimes, he revisits old newspapers just to read and I remember asking him why he loves reading stale news and he responded "there is always something new to learn". Lots of wisdom you would imagine! I copied that!
I used to be terribly "hot headed" as a child that when people see me now, they wonder if I'm still the one. I've always been outdoorsy and free. Though my parents were disciplinarians, I didn't have such ugly stories of how I was flogged and flogged and flogged to become useful. Being the last, I was shown tender care and love and I was spanked when there was extreme need to. My dad and mum and even siblings were good with the cane... Slapping me however, was a sin in my house. In fact, because of the ear problem I had, no one would dare do that. I have a family full of laughter and love. We protected our own with a whole lot of jealousy.
I have uncles and aunts – some late and some still alive, but we didn't have such luxury as going for holidays in their houses... Holidays were spent at home and we'd basically attend holiday lessons. This went on until my brother became stable and we could go for holidays at his house in Lagos and Accra and also at my sister's in Lagos and Enugu. We were just contented with whatever we had and my dad NEVER wanted to be a burden to anyone... However, the case wasn't same in our house as my dad would harbour cousins and distant relatives and also train them in school. His home was so habitable and open to all. This gesture earned him his traditional title "Ochiliozua" (Igbo for: A person who gathers all, nurtures and trains). Sometimes, my dad in a bid to please everyone spends beyond his pockets and I could hear him argue with my mum on how he got broke because he wasn't prudent.
Our house is surrounded by different species of beautiful flowers, which my dad always took care of and later on Ike my cousin took over the job. What my father is not very flexible with are the oranges in our compound. It seemed more like he counted them and gave them numbers and you dare not touch it ahead of the appointed harvesting time.
My parents and siblings are all university graduates. This hasn't however, changed or affected the unity we share in our family. We had slangs that made us laugh... Slangs like wururu, Agu owuru, reporter no book" and the rest of them... I didn't get to spend so much time with my brothers and as a result, I was a kind of an "only son". I lost my most intelligent brother and one of my sisters to sickle cell Anaemia while in Primary school. I've come to love sicklers even more for this reason. Nkem Azinge is my closest sickler friend and I hope to visit her whenever I'm in the US. I met Nkem on Facebook. In fact, some of my most valuable friendships were made on Facebook.
My eldest sibling (Chukwuemeka) is 20 years older than I am. He was already in the university at the time of my birth and later on left to Lagos for service and work and life! So, I basically spent more time with sisters than brothers. I therefore mastered the art and science of cooking and make-ups and female fashion and hairstyles as a result. Because of the age spacing in my family, my brother also spent enough time with my mum and therefore is about the best cook in my family.
My house "bu" (is) a home for all. Many seminarians who have turned priests spent their apostolic work days in our house. A very prominent person amongst them is Rev. Fr. George Abah. My experience with him will be a story for another day.
I wasn't pampered in such a way that I became spoilt. I was flogged when there was need to. I remember mimicking a visitor and the beating I got was close to that which you see acted in Nollywood. I remember disciplinary actions taken when I was tending towards nzuzu (stupidity in Igbo). My mum would sing such songs like "Iga enweg ekwa gbar' oto" (Nsukka for: if you don't have clothes, go naked) when we'd prepare for occasions and I'd tell her I don't have clothes to wear.
My eldest sister was a nightmare! She would pet me when she comes back from UNN in those days. She called me "daddy mo" (my daddy). However, after lunch everyday, she'd say "labaa je k'me ura eshushue" (go in and take your siesta). I so much hated siesta and this was why she was a nightmare. My other sisters didn't like the name "daddy mo." They were somewhat jealous and would wait till Enjay (my eldest sister) goes back to school so that they can "deal" with me... Mana, a guy cannot guy a guyoyo! I always had a way of becoming their friend before Enjay left for school.
I have an aunt we call "Mama Nwachukwu." She lives in Nsukka. A very nice woman with a great mien. Sometimes she makes stew and sends for me to put in my freezer in school and use it for rice and spaghetti and yam. The stew is usually enough to last for over one week.
I had an experience with Uzo my late sister once... You remember power chewing gum? The one that had some kind of tattoo that comes with it? Eheee! It put me in trouble once. Chewing gum was a crime in my house. There were also words on the streets that power chewing gum was occultic and all... And so, on this day, on my way back from Catechism class, I had money with me so I bought power chewing gum and the tattoo on it was the picture of a naked white girl. I placed it on my body and when I got home, Uzo knelt me down and gave me the flogging of my life... After which she washed it off and gave me a bath.
My late brother Tony was a no nonsense person. He didn't joke with his books. On an occasion, I tore a page of his novel... He spanked me and later bribed me with corn flakes and milk... He knew I loved it so, I didn't complain. He always called me "PC" and "SC" which meant problem child and stubborn child. Loooooool! He died just when he got admission into the university. He was my most intelligent sibling.
When Uzo my late sister was travelling to the north, (my other sisters were in the boarding school, my eldest brother in Lagos and my late brother in the boarding too), seeing how lonely I was going to be, she said "Kizzie, onye b m ji ed'ten g ne Nska mem je be Mama Nwachukwu ge g ne nya nota? Ike se Chigozie?" (Nsukka for: Kizzie, who will I bring to stay with you when I go to Mama Nwachukwu's house in Nsukka? Ike or Chigozie?) I chose Ike cuz the name Chigozie seemed long. Loooool! (Uzoamaka's name is one of the reasons why I'm close to Uzoamaka Aniunoh-a friend from Facebook)
Ike's visit was meant to be for a while. But, he's lived with us for over 15 years and has become part of my family. In fact, during one of our holiday lessons in Lagos, he was registered as "Ikechukwu Eze" instead of Uwakwe his surname.
Ike is in the higher institution now.
I had very funny classmates in primary school. It was competitive and also full of childish hatred. Some had issues with me coming tops at the end of the term. Others had issues with my family background. Most of them are jolly good fellows however and I miss them.
I heard so many stories as a child. How my brother would drive my father's Volkswagen and then sweep the tyre marks to avoid trouble. I remember having issues with my brother for driving his Camry while in SS1. That Camry is more or less my own today! I'm sure he'd laugh when he sees this.
I've had rare opportunities. Some of my mates haven't entered a plane or travelled out of the country or even driven a car. I have done all these.
My brother's wife is Auntie Nonye... I call her Auntie. She's such a darling. She used to be my wife when she was dating my brother. Loooooool! Auntie is very nice and disciplined. She'd call me to the parlour in Lagos to come and gist her... When I say "on what," she'd say "on just anything." She speaks good English and has an accent you can die for. She's very beautiful. I also have nieces... Nenye and Muna. I became an Uncle in SS1.
My mum had a brother we called Papa Okpuhu. (His house was called Okpuhu). He used to be the Vice Chairman of Nsukka local government. There isn't much to say about Okpuhu. We basically went there to pluck and eat Guava whenever we were around.
I'm good at keeping friends. I've lost some over the years but they are basically those who their spirits and mine weren't going the same direction. They either couldn't understand me or I couldn't understand them. Some expected just too much from me and I failed them. I got tired of drama from some and I kept my distance. The greatest attraction to me as a way of making friends is having "SENSE." Ofure Omo-Ataga understands this.
My best friend is Chidera Ugwuanyi. He's from my place. We've been friends since childhood. This young man knows my every step and I know his too. He's practically a part of me and he has "SENSE." He's the only one that understands when I say things like "we'll travel." We have so many blue prints of how we'll make money and if they work out, we'll be millionaires before 25.
Obasi Michael is also a friend. He also has "SENSE." He's the CEO of MickemClothings. I learn a lot from him and he's been a good accolade.
I've got just so many acquaintances but there are "FRIENDS" who have "SENSE."
I have a host of friends turned family. I'd mention the ones I can remember... Ebele Monye, Jaeceekah Okechukwu, Ayebaboumobara Daw, Chidera Omeje, Cornel Ndubisi, Andrea, Chioma Akpuru, Sonia Nzekwe, Maame Esi Ackom Gyedu, Andriana Agymang, Kamtochukwu Anene-Udeh, Stanley Ebubechukwu Defokwu, Nnaemeka Frank Akpa, Nnanna Didiugwu, Chisom Obi, Ricky Joe Odili, Ernest Nweke, Solomon Eze, Ozoemena Noel, Obinna Udeh, Josephine Ifunanya Nwodo, Ndidi Chukwuike, Chimdindu Nwobodo, Stella Okoye, Vitalis Azidiegwu, Pascal Okoyeocha, Ebuka Onunkwo, Joseph, Okey, Class of 2012 (SWSS), Eco 017, Aspire Daily friends, Eha-Alumona Students' union, Noble Icons International, Rotaract Club of UNN, Catholic Students' Choir, NESA UNN, CASSSITES, APEXITES, HRF friends amongst others...
Families like Abugu Chiamaka, Udy Nwajiaku, Ikenna Nwafor, Desh Okolocha, Yugee Atudume, Ella Iwongo, Chizube, Chizzy and Chisim Idoko, Chiamaka Ugwulali, Chisom... The list is endless!
Afriyie Boafo, Afoma Ozulu, Chinemerem Irene Ndubisi, Chioma Azike... are all darlings to me.
I wrote love letters as a kid! Lmao! I remember my sisters seeing one and threatening to show it to my brother and parents. I died and woke up.
I met my parents old. And so, I didn't even receive as much discipline as my older siblings did. I also met rich parents. My siblings were born to a "just ok" parents.
I'm thankful for who I have become today. Role models, priests, cousins, uncles, aunts, extended family, friends and colleagues, acquaintances among others have helped shape me into who I have become.
I thank Edna Eze for the inspiration to write this.
